The Half Decent Pharmaceutical Chemistry Blog

As promised, here are the Exammys which are like the Grammys, only that they are awarded to exams and the categories are much funnier than those of the MTV Movie Awards. The aim of this prize is to give you an idea of some of the exams I did before I created this blog.
So, let’s kick things off.

Category “Hands up! This is a robbery!” – The Exammy goes to: Physics. Ok, first year, second semester. The lecturer was rubbish so I stopped wasting my time and thought I’d have learnt much more if I had studied at home on my own. So I ceased going to any lecture after the first two weeks. With hindsight, that would have worked as planned if I hadn’t followed the advice of the professor and bought what is actually the worst physics book ever. You see it was for students of Medicine, who have the same knowledge of physics of a 13-years-old kid.
Anyhow, I mastered the written part of the exam but, when it came to the oral one, I’d have certainly deserved nothing more than 25/30, which would have resulted (considering the weighted mean) in a 27. Don’t ask me how but, after a rubbish exam, the examiner said: “Well, all things considered, it’s 29.” Of course mate…

Category “That’s it?!” - The Exammy goes to: Animal Biology. Once again first year but, this time, first semester. Again, written test plus oral part. Fantastic the former, the latter lasted less than 2 minutes and most of the time I felt the professor was chatting with me, rather than asking  me questions. Highest mark, in the end, but I clearly remember a worried girl came to me, while I was going out of the department, and asked me “How is it?” “I really have no idea” – I replied.

Category “Man, I kick asses!” - The Exammy goes to: Pharmaceutical Chemistry part I. Not that much to say: I was the only one who had tried to work out a possible mechanism for a reaction which occurs in the industrial synthesis of Naproxen: the Wilgerodt (ehm, Willgerodt) Reaction. In those days, I was an active member of Chemical Forums so, with the help of HP and His Majesty Mitch (Chemical Forums Supremo), I could also post a reaction pathway. The professor got very curious when I told him I posted what I believed the most plausible mechanism for that step on the internet. That was the best grand finale for a superb exam. Not to mention the first two students who did the exam before: appalling.

Category “What is you f****** problem, prof?!” - The Exammy goes to: Pathology. I believe it’s very uncommon to have a professor who burns you up throughout the exam and, after the other examiner has given you a deserved 28/30 (I wasn’t prepared very much, I have to admit), because she cannot enrage you any more, tells you: “I don’t like you because you’re arrogant.” (Actually she used a metaphor that is catchy only in Italian: something like “You have a ball-in-the-hole behaviour.”) I hope I won’t see you any more, honey.

Category: “Hot in herrrrre!” - The Exammy goes to: Analytical Chemistry. Second year, second semester. Hottest June in the last 200 years or so. Very, very hot and humid morning. Small room and NO AIR CONDITIONING! The exam (oral at the blackboard) went on for ages and I clearly remember I saw drops of sweat gently falling from my nose on the floor, while the examiner was like “well…what could I ask you for the laude?”

Category: “Funniest exam to prepare” - The Exammy goes to: Prokaryotic Molecular Biology. Surprised?

Category “I am thy professor, thy Light, thy Father!” - The Exammy goes to: Biochemistry. The professor himself (busiest man in the World: so busy he lectured us actually for 10 hours out of 64) appeared and I was the only student  to have the priceless opportunity to be examined by His Majesty. At the end of my exam he felt the need to shake my hand. Then he gave me his benediction and ascended into the sky on a golden cloud, surrounded by cherubs and the room was filled with a strong scent of roses.

Category “Your first exam is like your first love: unforgettable!” - The Exammy goes to: Mathematics. Ok, this is not a real Exammy: it’s a special prize I have to award to that crazy man, great lecturer and excellent cyclist who lectured me about mathematics. That was my very first exam. The “oral” part (a couple of functions whose two derivatives had to be calculated and drawn on the blackboard), took place on January 29, 2004: a day I’ll never forget.

That’s it, ladies and gentlemen. 34 in 4 years. Some, as you’ve just read, were peculiar, but most of them were rather normal. Each of them, though, had something unique and something I really liked: that must have helped me a lot.

Unfortunately, there was only room for a subject in my heart and molecular biology filled that void. But that’s a different story.

It’s rather hard to describe, in a few words, what this exam was all about. Fortunately, I’ve found out that the rubbish website of my university has an English version where you can read the programmes of each course. So, check it out.

I’ve also to say preparing this one has been a tough physical experience. You see, although it was certainly not the hardest I did, I never studied when it is so hot and, moreover, in a room (mine!) where the thermometer says the temperature hovers between 33.6°C (in the afternoon) and 31°C (at night). We cannot afford to get air conditioning and I didn’t want to waste time going to a public library.

Honestly, I’m really surprised I did so well on this occasion, given all these environmental issues. Perhaps I managed to seduce the examiner, I don’t. Mind you, I deserved the mark I got, that’s for sure: I just didn’t think I would have been so slick, given that I studied it only for 8 days.

Anyhow, the most important think is that now I’ve finished with the exams and that makes me feel really good! From now on (to be precise, for the next year) you should think about me as a fresh graduate, who is taking is master before the PhD (not so common in this country): what I’m really going to do, by the way, if working at a chemist’s shop and preparing my thesis.

Stay tuned, because, on this Saturday, I’ll look back at all the exams I did in these four years and present them to you, well, in a very unusual way, believe me.

Now, however, if you need me, I’ll be at the pub until Saturday. Cheers!

When I did my first pharma eng exam, last year, I studied a lot but the result wasn’t exciting (make no mistake: it was pretty good, but not as good as I expected it to be). That was largely because the professor was in mood for asking stuff taken from the programme of this second one, as I realised this year.

For the second one, so, I have to admit I was less prepared: actually I prepared it in less than 15 days, while last year I had kept a keen eye on the things I was lectured on throughout the course (this means the preparation covered almost 3 months!).

Predictably, I didn’t expect to get an excellent mark today, even because it wouldn’t have changed my graduation mark very much. Still, I hoped to do a good penultimate exam just because, you know, I care.

I must say that thought  put me in the right mood: relaxed as when the underdog, small team plays against a top-flight club, owned by some foreign billionaire, as it turned out, not having anything to lose, everything went on perfectly.

The big news, anyway, is not that I’ll never have to deal with pharmaceutical engineering anymore. What matters now is that there’s only ONE LEFT! Only one exam left to be done and then I’ll no longer have to undergo the boring preparation of an exam for which I have to study something I couldn’t care less about!

And now, bring on the beer! I’m thirsty!

I mean, yes, this was my last exam of molecular biology as an undergraduate but, since my graduation thesis and, hopefully, my PhD project will have to do with this subject (ѱ*ѱ is probably shivering reading of someone whose hope is to spend his entire life doing molecular biology), it’s incorrect to say mission accomplished, isn’t it?

What can I say about this exam? Well, once again I’ve to say that molecular biologists do it better: unlike most of the exam you do in an Italian university, this was a proper written test, with multiple-choices, open-ended questions and a long, massively important final essay to write.
Otherwise, how can you, for example, decide whether a student deserves a 28 or a 27?! Asking him two questions and considering the reaction time?!

The only complain I could make to the professor (who, as you might have understood, will supervise my graduation thesis) is that I got the results two hours ago but the exam took place 18 days ago (June 11). But, you know, when you see the excellent result, you don’t bother any more, do you?

Moreover, only two exams left: so let the count-down begin! And bring me a beer! 

 

I know, it may not be the best translation and it’s not even the real name of the exam either, but it gives you an idea of what it was all about: (innovative) techniques to determine optical purity and assay other chiral properties of drugs (and metabolites in general).

Undoubtedly this is hardcore stuff: no one is likely to do such an exam, unless it studies industrial pharmacy. Even if you are a proper chemist and you’re particularly fond of chirality, the odds are that you can deal with some of the techniques I was lectured about, but not to such a degree of specialization for what concerns drugs.

As it turned out, the exam wasn’t that difficult, after all, as it often happens with this sort of advanced courses.

Still, one done and only three left over. I can announce, however, that from now on I’ll begin to write about normal subjects again, given that I should have a little bit more time.

Stay tuned.